From the Robin Wood Tarot

Ever felt like a lesson is being battered into you?

I drew this card reversed and then trotted up to the archery club – where I was introduced to Peter’s ex-wife. I had heard him speak of her and rated it a good sign that he seemed to be on good terms with old girlfriends, but he never mentioned they had been married.

My ex boyfriend’s exes, married or not, are of little interest to me, but it did make me feel slightly uncomfortable that something as significant as a marriage had been overlooked. There was a feeling of deception, nothing major, nothing too important, until I asked him when he was going off on his next trip and he took me aside and asked me not to talk about it in front of her.

The 5 Swords is about self-interest and, in its negative aspect, dishonour.

The challenge of this card is to find an honest, honourable path between what you want to do and what is expected of you. It can be a warning to examine your own motives or the motives of someone close to you.

I reacted very badly to Peter’s request. I felt compromised and I didn’t like it. And it wasn’t the first time recently I felt just that way.

Just the other day my ex-husband John asked me not  to mention where I got the airfare for the UK and it felt like just the same thing. And yesterday I saw Suri, the mother of Kate’s best friend and she was very anxious that I didn’t mention our recent (very modest) outing to the casino to either her husband or her daughter. Apparently, she has a bit of a problem and they don’t like her going there.

Here is my lesson – beware of dishonourable people and don’t allow them to make me a co-conspirator.

Ha! If it were that easy! In each case, by the time I realised I was compromised it was too late. In the case of the airfare, I must go along with it, although I feel badly. But Kate must go to England and although she could go alone, she is only 12 and I can’t face that prospect. Part of me also, I admit, sees the airfare as the maintenance he’s never paid and the school shoes he’s never bought and all the other little bitternesses. I’m not doing wrong, but suddenly I feel it. 

In Suri’s case, a few bucks were lost, lunch was consumed and we had long left the casino when she raised the matter. I can resolve not to go to the casino again but I perhaps – nay, definitely – should have expressed my distaste for being involved in a deception.

And as for Peter – I made clear my feelings to him, and it was not for me to dump him in it with his ex-wife.

But I wonder again, why am I so open to dishonest people? Back to boundaries again, isn’t it?

So stop battering! I hear you! Loud and bloody clear.