From the Bohemian Gothic Tarot

Whoa! Since drawing these cards, I’ve been feeling the old panic rising with every day. I haven’t felt like this for so long, but I knew it well in the months – nay years – since John left me so suddenly over four years ago now.

Why? And what can a card like the World have to do with it?

Logically, all is well. I’m busy, but managing. I feel very keenly the fact that I haven’t found time for a workout for weeks, but although the pressure is mounting, really there is no fear of not being able to manage in this new life I’ve built for myself and my daughters. The ‘time out’ of college is drawing to a close and it will soon be time to make my way once again.

Which brings me to a disturbing possibility… do I fear the success and completion signified by the World card? Am I afraid of taking the next step, of moving on in my journey… in only a few months after all?

Jacaranda addresses scattered thoughts and a lack of focus, just the way I feel at the moment, in direct contrast to the calm, centered awareness of my own power that has characterised the past weeks.

I pray for the strength and courage to face my fears with honesty. I want to be all that I can be, and with the grace of a loving Universe, believe I can achieve just that.