Serenity Self-sufficiency Satisfaction
From the Robin Wood Tarot

I have a feeling that the last time I drew the 9 Pentacles I had a little whinge about how I didn’t want to be alone.

Well, I’m pleased to report that once again I’m in a frame of mind to appreciate the qualities embodied by this card – independence, self sufficiency, abundance, confidence and an appreciation of one’s own space.

I’m less certain how to connect Sturt Desert Rose, which is primarily for guilt, including sexual guilt. No sex, no guilt in the right now, so let’s turn to the positive outcome for Sturt Desert Rose, which includes courage, conviction, integrity and being true to yourself – all qualities that ring very true for the 9 Pentacles.

Is guilt – sexual or otherwise – a big issue blocking that energy?

You know, I think so. I went to the movies, on my own and for no other reason than I wanted to. There’s something particularly enjoyable about it, so why don’t I do it very often?

Because it does arouse feelings of guilt in me when I take time out for my own needs and pleasures and, now that I think about it, one of the enjoyable things about going to a movie alone is the slight feeling of naughtiness about it, sitting lower but on the same scale as skipping school or chucking a sickie.

Whoa. Obvious really. Guilt is a horrible, insidious thing and probably at the heart of most of our ills. I guess it’s no surprise that it should show up and no surprise either that the lesson comfortably covers sexual guilt too.

Because once again it’s about achieving a balance, between your own needs and pleasures, and the needs and pleasures of others.

I’m sure there’s plenty of time to apply the lesson to my sexual guilt. Fow now, Madame 9 Pentacles will go and see a movie and munch her way through a big bag of Maltesers and will not waste time bothering to shoot down faux reasons why she shouldn’t.