From the Robin Wood Tarot

The 2 Pentacles is the juggling card, the busy business of making time for all the things you want to do.

It can also signify a tricky, but not severe, financial situation and, after all the unexpected expense of Kate’s birthday, that’s pretty much what I’m facing at the moment.

The good news is that being employed is making it significantly less tricky, but I’ve been certainly finding the adjustment back to full time office hours a juggle. It’s fun though and I’m enjoying it a lot.

Red Grevillea is for people who feel stuck. It acts as a catalyst for those who know what they want to achieve but don’t know how to go about it.

Even more significantly, given the reasons for my so recently ended stuckness, its positive outcome is boldness and an indifference to the judgment of others.

Make no mistake, the reason I wasn’t working for so long was because the prospect terrified me. And it was all due to the fallout from the end of my marriage.

I was a magazine editor whose confidence was so destroyed I couldn’t face anything more challenging than cleaning.

I’ve spent five years overcoming panic attacks and agorophobia to finally gussy up in my high heels and make-up and get out there as an agency temp.

Just in case you thought I was taking it too seriously, on the morning of my first assignment I was loading up my Lord of the Rings lunchbox when Kate walked into the kitchen and said, in a shocked tone, ‘You’re not taking that, are you?’ She seemed to think it was childish.

I asked her in just what else I could carry my lunch and she suggested, in a patronising manner, that I take my backpack instead. ‘You mean my Winnie-the-Pooh backpack?’ Exit Kate, eyes rolling heavenward.

Undeterred, I turned up, LOTR lunchbox in hand, to my assignment at the Department of Corrective Services.

After undergoing a series of stringent security checks, I was admitted to the inner sanctum of the Director-General’s office, where I spent a week processing confidential Ministerial briefs and writing erotic short stories (the latter not part of my duties but a personal amusement to pass the time, and there was indeed much time to pass).

Nevertheless, while the job’s not a stretch of my abilities it’s a good easing back in to the discipline of work and it’s a big step for me to be able to enjoy myself instead of being sick with terror.

If Red Grevillea helps the stuck to work out what they want and how to achieve it, its message seems to be to take one thing at a time. Temping is the right thing for right now.

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