It’s rare these days for me to have absolutely no idea of what to say about a pair of cards, but this is one of those times.

They seem to speak of overcoming prejudice – Freshwater Mangrove opens to new experiences the heart which has been closed by learned prejudices.

The 2 Cups is the romance card, but also speaks of reconciliation and healing through love.

Neither seems to relate to my experiences of the past week, which have been fairly mundane – a good thing after a pretty miserable start to January.

The only real thing that happened of note was another unsatisfactory round with my ex-husband John over money for Kate, but this week’s cards don’t seem to relate to that issue.

At a stretch I’ll say that if John and I could break out of our usual pattern of behaviour, as referred to by Freshwater Mangrove, perhaps we could achieve a better outcome for Kate, under the auspices of the 2 Cups.

That’s a stretch – when it comes to the ‘money relationship’ with the ex, I’ve managed to keep it simple by not asking for any. It was the deal – if he didn’t stand in the way of us leaving England, I wouldn’t seek any child support from him.

It’s been hard but I’ve seen how much harder it is for other mums, locked in an ugly, ongoing battle with their exes for every payment.

No, all I did was suggest that he might like to increase the 50 bucks in pocket money he sends straight to her every month now that she’s in high school.

We never even got around to discussing the amount – as if it was any of my business. He just stopped sending her anything at all.

So I’m disinclined to overcome my prejudice in thinking that he’s a mean and sorry excuse for a dad.

And I don’t know how to discuss it with Kate, who is understandably hurt and bewildered that her pocket money no longer comes.

If there’s healing and reconciliation to be done, it’s between those two and I realised a while back that I have no role to play in it.

All I can do is keep silent – is that the lesson? Don’t pass on my prejudices against him but try and leave a space for their two hearts to find each other again?

In the meantime, it breaks my heart that he neglects her so.

Right up to the last days of my dad’s life he would still be popping a couple of 20s into an envelope to me with a note urging me to buy myself a little treat.

The pleasure it gave me had nothing to do with the amount and everything to do with knowing my dad loved me and was thinking of me.

That’s what John denies his daughters and no amount of hippie healing will take the burning anger out of my heart for that.

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