From the Robin Wood Tarot

I drew Temperance in its reversed aspect so the lesson is about balance. And what have I learned?

There is a tension in it, an ongoing tension which requires patience, practice and vigilance to master.

Balance is not a blessed state of relaxation after the struggle to get there, it is the struggle.

Temperance is depicted as an angel standing apparently completely at ease but he has one foot on land and one in the water and he is juggling three glass spheres. He must be freezing too, because it’s sunrise on a morning in early spring.

None of this shows in his demeanour and I imagined myself in his place, trying not to wobble with only one foot on solid ground – I never even got to the juggling.

So that is the challenge. The hormone imbalance and the struggle to find my place in the world, these are not temporary difficulties to overcome and move on from.

They are in fact the challenge of the game itself.

Boab is the essence that I feel a great respect for. It clears negative family and karmic patterns – the ones that are so ingrained in us that they can be hard to recognise for what they are.

But without an awareness of their place in our psyches, Temperance remains reversed.

To stretch the metaphor – comfortably, I think – they could be represented by those glass balls.

In relation to my week just gone – and at the heart of last week’s indignant letter to John’s mum – I believe my struggle for balance may stem from the warring attitudes of my own parents, deep in the heart of Boab territory.

My father trusted in fate and ended his life in peace. My mother, on the other hand, has lived her life in fear and has the future she always dreaded.

And I am struggling to find my balance between the two.