From the Robin Wood Tarot

When it’s hard to know where to start, it’s best to start at the beginning.

Almost immediately after my last entry I took a cup of tea on to my beautiful veranda with the specific intention of enjoying the sense of peace, security and joy that it has offered from the start.

I had not been there five minutes when a car drove slowly by, then turned and passed again… and then again. Prospective buyers of course, but so soon?

It was more than I could bear and so I began that week in grief and despair. I was never going to lightly face the prospect of having to move from this house.

And then I remembered my cards.

The 6 Wands – the card of recognition, acclaim and success – and Pink Flannel Flower, which promotes an awareness of life’s blessings.

A word more on the flannel flowers before I continue: There are three in the Bush Essences range and they seem to relate to different aspects of the child within us all, no matter how old we become. Playfulness, trust, optimism and fun are their keywords.

The Pink Flannel Flower especially makes me think of that image expressed in a song or a prayer of being cupped gently in the protective hand of the Almighty.

It says to me, don’t fear little one, I’ve got you safe and I’m not going anywhere.

That sense of security is what grants the space and freedom to stop sweating on the bad stuff and instead be delighted in the good.

With these cards in mind I set off for work determined to trust to fate that the house situation – about which I can do nothing – would turn out to be a positive change in the end.

I realised that I must instead keep focused on getting my job situation resolved.

The election has now been and gone. The government was returned and the Minister’s staff remain employed. This is the moment I have waited for all these months, the moment when a decision was promised about my appointment, and I have been more taken up with weeping over my home.

But back to my cards. If I wanted the rewards suggested by the 6 Wands, I thought, I’d better start demanding them.

If it was true that they never intended to confirm my appointment, that I was a foolish fill-in for the office manager’s friend, they would need a reason, a failing of mine, to get rid of me.

So I went in to work on Wednesday with a clear head and a firm resolve to strike first.

I wrote a letter to the chief of staff. It had a twin purpose. I wanted the situation clear in my mind and I wanted to be sure I could present my case without resorting to personal attacks or insults against June, the bullying office manager.

I was no longer seeking a permanent position. After the way I feel I’ve been treated, I just wanted it on the record and, with luck, to force some sense of obligation to find me something else, and fast.

I never had a chance to deliver the letter.

Carmen, lately one of the Minister’s advisors and now the newly elected Member for Outer Smuggington, came into the office and offered me a job, running her electorate office.

How much better than anything else I may have had in mind is that?

Even the house situation gets turned around as I now must look for something more conveniently located for my new job.

And the money is better too.

Then it hit me, the full wonder of it.

Without the wit to seek it I have all I could wish for, including my first secure job since leaving England four and a half years ago.

On Monday night when I was still at my most pitiful, I had wept down the phone to Jason that I was just so tired.

To be uncertain of my job was one thing. To be uncertain of my home as well was more than I could bear. And I was just too tired to stand it any longer with any kind of good grace.

Well, at the end of the week I can take a deep breath and say I made it.

At the end of my strength, I have reached a gentle shore, by the grace and guiding hand of the Lady.

Blessed be.

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