From the Robin Wood Tarot

The day before I drew these cards was a terrible one.

I was looking for somewhere to live, rushing from open house to open house and realising the true awfulness of trying to do it on public transport.

I got shitty. Black-hearted and shitty at having to do it all on my own with no one to help me.

Running under the black tides of the day was a current of self pity and rejection as I remembered that my cousin Janis had offered to drive me around to these places and hadn’t phoned to see if I needed her.

If she really cared about me, went my mewling, miserable reasoning, she would have phoned.

Finally, when I could do no more on my own, stuck between potential home and impossible journey to the real estate agent to lodge an application, I called her.

She was frantically busy of course, preparing to go away for a week with all the rushing around that entails. But without hesitation or question she dropped everything and came to my aid.

Well, she did have one question. “Why didn’t you call me sooner?”

When I told her it was because I knew she’d be busy (without mentioning my bitter resentment), she chided me. “Yes, but we’d always work it out. We’re family. That’s what we do.”

Well, needless to say, I cried. And felt not a little ashamed.

In the car, I asked her if she knew the name of the spectacular tree that is in flower at the moment and which, remarkably, I didn’t seem to have noticed before, although they seem to be growing all over town.

Well, the very next day I drew it as my flower essence of the week – the magnificent Illawarra Flame Tree.

Its essence releases the fear of rejection, the very fear more than likely that keeps my hand from picking up the phone in time of need.

The Flame Tree essence is for people who often feel rejected. They feel left out quite easily and are very deeply hurt when they do perceive rejection – real or imaginary, says Ian White.

‘Nuff said.

As for the reversed 10 Pentacles, there’s an element of rejection there too.

Upright, the 10 Pentacles is the ‘count your blessings and find them unnumbered’ card. Reversed, rather than signifying a lack of blessings, it seems more to do with an inability to bring them into focus.

The 10 Pentacles particularly calls up the blessings of home, family and the security they represent.

We are lucky enough in our blessed existence to have home and family, no matter what else we may feel we lack. Reversed, we are failing to draw upon the strength and comfort of our primary resource.

I hope I will remember this lesson well.