There are several reasons for the tip into the negative and all come under the heading of lack.
Not least among them, Kate is going back to England soon to visit her dad. And it will be the first time she’s travelled alone.
Intellectually, I know that both she and I will be fine. I can even acknowledge that we will probably both ultimately enjoy the break from each other’s company.
But it’s hard not to focus on the sense of loss and stack it up next to the ongoing lack of Jason, and then to notice more and more little of pebbles of want lying in my path and then to stack them one by one on top of these two big rocks of sadness.
The Sydney Rose essence has been described by Ian White as the crowning glory of the Bush Flowers. Its serene message is the realisation that there is no separation between us, that we are all one.
Intellectually, this Queen knows this to be true. But in my reversed state of imbalance I suffer the melancholy and sense of isolation that must inevitably precede the full realisation of that crowning glory.
I am only human, with a yearning human heart.
I pray for strength to accept these physical separations which are my lot and the wisdom to put them in perspective.