Some years ago my life was turned upside down when my husband of 15 years left me for someone else. It was a bitter and ugly break up and it left me shattered, emotionally and physically.
In a desperate bid to move on, I packed up everything and left England with my two daughters to try and build a new life.
This diary was written a few years later, at a time when I was still struggling to build that life out of the wreckage of everything that had been destroyed.
Chuck in a doomed long-distance romance with an old friend who declared his interest after I’d moved to the other side of the world, some other hefty life milestones and I did what any self-respecting hippie would do – went to college to study for a diploma in Holistic Counselling.
I began this diary as a study tool, to combine a long-standing interest in the Tarot with the Australian Bush Flower Essences, which I needed to learn as part of my counselling studies.
I continued it after I finished my course and, rather than become a counsellor, moved into admin work.
What emerged was a period in my life in which I subjected myself to forensic scrutiny, through the medium of the twin cards – I usually refer to the essences as cards also, as it was a deck of them I was working with.
My diary is an honest and true reflection of a roller-coaster period in my life. At times the coincidences and circumstances seem unbelievable, even to me. It’s because they happened that I wanted to share my diary.
To me, it offers a proof that the human mind is hard-wired to seek connections which explain random events.
I was devoting time each day to focus on two random events – the cards – and using my own thoughts, feelings and experiences to find connections between them. That heightened my sense of serendipity in all areas of my life.
Whether and how those connections indeed exist is where you decide just what you believe.
For me, the lesson of the cards is simply this – Life is random. We make the connections, for whatever evolutionary benefit it gave us, but life is random.
That being so, lighten up. It doesn’t stop bad things happening, but it helps you to notice good things more.
If you worry that things go bad, they might. But they might not. And then do you want to look back at all that time you spent worrying?
I’ve changed names and removed any identifying details to avoid distress to the people closest in the world to me.
If any of them should stumble upon my diary and feel a twinge of recognition, I apologise if I did not disguise my story well enough. But in the end, it’s my story. This one really is all about me.
Love and Peace.