Posts from the ‘3 The Empress’ Category

The Empress and Sydney Rose

From the Robin Wood Tarot

From the Robin Wood Tarot

Sydney RoseAs my baby girl headed off alone to the other side of the world I needed the comfort of Sydney Rose like never before.

For how better could my state be mirrored than by the reversed card of the Lady in her maternal aspect?

My agitation wasn’t helped when she called me, as promised, on arrival and told me she’d been bothered in the transit lounge by a man who, after failing to get her phone number off her, had followed her around the airport. Finally she sought refuge in the toilets until they called her flight.

She’s 15.

I shouldn’t have been so shocked. I was 11 and walking home from school the first time a strange man confronted me on the path holding his penis and Anne, my eldest daughter, was 14 when she was stopped by a middle-aged man in the street who sidled up to her in the middle of the afternoon and asked her to show him a good nightclub. I just happened to be a few paces behind her and in a position to tell him in no uncertain terms where to get off.

But it is shocking. The hardest part of parenting is remembering that not everyone’s a potential rapist or murderer. We do our daughters no favours by trying to wrap them in cotton wool and keep them safe from our nightmares but if you think letting them walk alone to the shops is hard, try putting one of them on a plane and sending her off to the other side of the world.

But she was safe by then in her father’s house and, while I couldn’t quell the panic entirely, I had to be satisfied with that. Oh but I miss her and will miss her until she’s back home. The walk down the hall past her empty bedroom is long and lonely and dark and the house is quiet as the grave, but nowhere near as peaceful.

Sydney Rose is the reminder that the cords between us can bear any distance. Its intense, purest pink symbolises the healing power of love and reminds us that there is no separation between us because we are, ultimately, all one.

Ian White, Father of the Australian Bush Flower Essences, calls Sydney Rose the crowning glory of the Bush Essences. While we may understand our connection to each other on an intellectual level, Sydney Rose opens our hearts to a deeper understanding of that principle.

Does it help? A little. But the corridor is still dark and the house is still silent. The Empress is reversed and will remain so until her return.

Jason will be here to put a ring on my finger before I see my Kate again but even the joy of knowing that cannot quell the aching in my heart.

The Empress and Kapok Bush

The Empress

From the Robin Wood Tarot

The way to remember Kapok Bush is to think of having the stuffing knocked out of you.

It’s for when you’re discouraged and it promotes perseverance and a willingness to keep trying.

At such a moment, comes the Lady in her aspect of Mother-of-All to bring comfort and healing and a reminder to live with passion and purpose, accepting her gifts graciously.

I’m thinking of the week just gone, particularly in terms of mother-child relationships and haven’t come up with anything terribly positive.

My nephew, Maryanne’s son, has been visiting. His relationship with his mother was cut tragically short when she died in a car crash when he was just four years old.

My relationship with mine tragically continues and this week featured a rare ugly encounter. I am not proud to have lost my cool with her but, thinking back on it, I was having a very Kapok Bush kind of day.

It started with an unexpected and inexplicable rising of the old Panic, which thankfully didn’t rise too high. It continued with bad cramps as my period turned up and ended with hours of phone conversations about the forthcoming wake for my father.

These wakes have been going on in several cities around the world, as he was well known and well liked in many places, but this is the one that I will be able to attend.

When my mother weighed in I was feeling exhausted and put upon. I find it impossible to equate her with the maternal aspects of the Empress – an irony not lost on me.

But if I find no comfort in my mother, I do sense the healing presence of the Lady on weekends like these, when I can work in my garden and enjoy my beautiful home.

When it all begins to feel too hard, I retreat to Flower Street and Peace surrounds me in a warm embrace.

The Empress and Isopogon

From the Peanuts Tarot

While the High Priestess is the Maiden, the Empress is the Mother – fertile, nurturing, generous and compassionate to all her children.

I welcome her energy today, as I am missing my daughter Anne terribly right now and I know the Lady, in her maternal aspect, understands how tricky it is to have her so far away.

In addition, the Empress empressively continues the theme of last week’s cards which explored the complexities of the heart and reminded me to keep my feet firmly grounded in reality while doing so.

Here, in the Empress card, is the embodiment of that endeavour and its results, a flowering, fulfilment, the wonder of creation that takes a glint in the eye and transforms it into new life.

Today’s essence Isopogon addresses the separation between heart and head by helping us to retrieve past knowledge, to access the Wisdom of Ages. And so, it seems, the lesson continues.

My yearning for my daughter is as old as Time. And, like all mothers, I must learn to accept that distance does not weaken the bond between us.

The Empress and Isopogon

From the Robin Wood Tarot

Just when I thought I’d turned an emotional corner, an email from John sent me lurching back into turbulence.

He says he is torn apart by guilt and desperately needs an assurance that he didn’t ruin my life when he abandoned me and our two children without warning for the cowardly reason that he couldn’t make a choice between me and his married lover, so she made it for him. Then he gave me a year of hell as he tried to bully me into taking him back, all the while as he was living with her and her two children.

He wants an assurance that I am happy.

Well I am, but only because I took the rather extreme escape route of moving to the other side of the world, giving up a career I loved, the home I’d spent 15 years creating with him and all the wonderful friends who helped me endure that horrible nightmare he put me through.

Yes I’m happy, now. And now that he can see I am, he asks.

I’m also furious that he feels he can crash into my inbox whenever his conscience troubles him.

Given that the last time he saw me (just a few weeks ago), I was in the company of gorgeous Jason and obviously on Cloud Nine, I’m presuming what he really wants to know is whether he can still push my buttons.

I hope I have responded with the wisdom of both the Empress and Isopogon (which helps you to learn from past experience!).

To me, the Empress is serenity, confidence and a concern for the bigger picture. She is also the selfishness of the maternal principle.

There is not a trace of anger in my reply, nor a mention of my emotional state or personal relationships. I’ve just laid out the financial realities of a single parent family and how much more difficult it will be for me now that Kate is in high school.

I’ve reminded him that from the day he left he’s given me no financial assistance, just money direct to the girls. And that money never amounted to more than $50 a month for Kate and $300 a month for Anne when she was in high school. Now that Kate is in high school, I suggested, it might ease his feelings of guilt to increase her allowance.

As I said, I sincerely hope that I have lived up to the ideal of the Empress, and that I have learned some lessons, as per Isopogon, from my past dealings with John. Whether I’ve managed to win a bit more cash out of him for Kate remains to be seen.